Goodell Cooks Data Again in NFL Pot

 DATELINE:  Commissioner Moriarty

Goodellfather

Every billionaire’s favorite mouthpiece, Roger Goodell, was at it again, at his usual press announcement bully pulpit

Goodell boasted, according to his cooked stats, that crime in the NFL is way down over the past three years. Yes, indeed, the number of child abusing, wife beating, gun toting, drunk driving players has been cut down to a mere 31 arrests this year. That is almost an average of one per team.

Not one mealy mouthed sports journalist dared to ask if that number included crimes like cheating, deflating footballs, or destroying evidence. Goodell kept that number down this year by refusing to acknowledge the Steelers deflated footballs against the Giants a few weeks ago.

The data did not include whether or not millionaire players had an incentive of a grandiose paycheck as their motivation to play nice.

Nor did Goodell answer the question of whether the NFL takes any responsibility for former, retired players who are involved in shootings, suicides, and domestic violence.

We want to know if the intelligence test scores of players, the notorious Wonderlick score taken at the annual Combine, revealed a corresponding decrease in intelligence among players. Nor did Goodell discuss the mental health clinic enrollees among the NFL players.

Goodell did not say whether his own moral duplicity, hypocrisy, and shady dealings, were included in NFL crime data.

Thank heavens that unsportsmanlike conduct is not a crime.

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