Patriots Eat Up a Storm Against Ravens in Food Fight

DATELINE:  Ravens Still Famished

sandoval diet

Call it the Mustard Bowl.

The Patriots turned on the hot sauce switch at home against the Ravens. Not like any game since Tom’s return have we seen such hot stuff.

Tom Brady was in his best animated mode when Julian Edelman dropped three passes, by throwing a hot tamale on the sideline. It was a side order that dumped chili down the backs of his teammates.

After that, it was all gusto and relish. Patriots gang tackled and Brady went no huddle for the first time all season, wearing out his Raven opponents.

Tom created his special jalapeno sauce and poured it on the open-face sandwich served the dish cold.

Coach Harbaugh was trying to 86 the condiments when he found someone dumped a full bottle of Patriotic ketchup on his plate.  The Patriots started with a safety that emptied the garlic salt in the Raven’s wounds by jumping over the center to stop a field goal.

LaGarrette came out of the attic with a dilly of runs, reaching the most TDs in a season since Curtis Martin, or was that Pepper Martin?

Malcolm Mitchell continued to curry favor with his salsa style play. Brady has found a replacement for his cayenne pepper Gronk whose new movie debut as a mob hit-man in his other career almost overpowered his Patriots Monday Night game.

Joe Flacco’s dyspepsia seemed to be the result of swilling apple vinegar and sucking lemons as the Patriots put salt on the tail feathers of the Ravens. It looked like December turned the Ravens into Brady’s Christmas goose

Yet, the Ravens hung on, pouring on their own hot stuff over Patriot raspberry turnovers—but at the finish, as one Raven superstar said, “It was like taking a bite into a terrible sandwich.”

Our compliments to Galloping Gourmet Belichick.