Sweet Tasting Turnovers Propel Patriots


DATELINE: Super Nova Puff

Whatever can you say about the Patriots beating the Jets?

Did they deserve to win?  Probably not, if you based the game on the first three quarters. Alas, for Jet fans, the game must be played to its full conclusion.

Without Gronk, mystery injured in the first quarter without a yard to his name, the team looked like Bambi in the headlights. And Harvard passer Ryan Fitzgerald looked like he had just studied string theory. He pulled Brady’s third string defensive line.

As for Tom Terrific, he looked like a man who had missed his gold-dust capsule treatment usually washed down with icy mineral spring water. He seemed gimpy and stiff, missing on third down passes often.

However, despite the problems, something returned that we had not seen all season: raspberry turnovers.

Yes, the Patriots have feasted on turnovers for a dozen years—until this season when a diet seemed to omit the tasty turnovers. Now, we had three turnovers: one of every variety and stripe, from stripped balls from the quarterback to fumble recoveries.

Oh, how tasty indeed the turnover menu makes palatable a so-so game. It was so delicious that it inspired Brady to turn on his youthful energy in the final ten minutes. It certainly meant he would tie Peyton Manning for 200 victories, a milestone amid the gall stones that the Jets forced down Tom’s disrespected urethra.

And we don’t mean Urethra Franklin. But you know how to spell R—E-S-P-E-C-T, N-F-L.

In the weeks ahead, the W in the victor’s column will not have any asterisks nearby. It will simply be another notch in Tom Brady’s gun-belt.