Jets Provide Patriots with Another Bye Week

DATELINE:  Bye Bye Birdie Jets

 

brady-prepares-for-big-game  Tom & Playbook

Every media outlet in the United States with alleged sports experts have predicted that this week the New England Patriots have a bye week.

Tom Brady can rest his weary bones, after having been hit from every angle several weeks ago by head hunting tackles. He does not have to wrest a win with his struggling defensive team giving up point after point. Gulp hard, Pats.

Oh, wait, you mean the Pats are playing the Jets?

We barely recognize this team any more, or any less. Without Rex Ryan and his gang of little rascals, the Jets seem more like the Mats. Everyone wipes his clod-hopping  feet on the Jets before moving on.

Can it be that every pundit of NFL tea leaves can be wrong?

Can it be that Revis Island will have one last great game in honor of his season with the Patriots at the Super Bowl? Will he sing “Bali Hai”?

Carousel.Is it possible that the Meadowlands will turn into Elysian Fields where the Wicked Witch can make it snow somnambulistic flakes?

We live in a world where Mitt Romney can call Donald Trump a phony and be rewarded with a Secretary of State job. No wonder the Jets have high hopes. They feel like the ant that can move the rubber tree plant.

Don’t say the ant can’t.

We remember a story when ants could use fallen leaves to cross a mighty moat to attack Charlton Heston playing Tom Brady.

There is no justice in a world where fate controls the NFL. If history can be recalled correctly, the original Patriots lost the Battle of Bunker Hill, though the consensus lives a lie.

We prefer to sing a ditty from West Side Story. Once you’re a Jet, you’re a loser for life. In the meantime, the Jets are singing “Climb Every Mountain,” from their hopeless Carousel.

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