Patriots Not in a Family Way, According to Jamie Collins

DATELINE:  Family Ties

 Belichick

Traded from the possible Super Bowl winning Patriots to the possible 0-16 Browns, Jamie Collins has told the media that the Patriots lacked a family atmosphere.

This may come as a shock to those who think the Pats are really a reincarnation of The Brady Bunch, led by Pop Warner Belichick.  It seems Collins saw Belichick more like ‘Pop Goes the Weasel.’ According to Collins, Belichick is about as warm and fuzzy as Ma Barker.

Someone should tell Collins that “cosa nostra” often is translated as “our family.”

Robert Kraft has made billions for the Pats family—and every player receives a weekly allowance that ends up in the tax deduction bracket for dependents, amounting to millions

If you mention to the Gronk Brothers that there is no family atmosphere in New England, they’d probably start a sibling rivalry.  Wasn’t it James Cagney who shouted, “Top of the World, Ma”? and promptly blew himself up in the notorious crime drama White Heat.

How can we fault Bill Belichick if he is more like Ma Kettle and less like June Cleaver? We never thought of Jamie Collins as the Beaver. He was more like ALF living with earthling family.

If you want a nurturing family environment, you won’t be living with Belichick’s version of A Lion in Winter. Wasn’t that the family drama where Kate Hepburn tried to get her son Anthony Hopkins to murder his father Peter O’Toole? Talk about a royal pain in the rear.

Jamie Collins saw himself as Rudy. And Bill Belichick saw him as The Waterboy. Collins was looking for bromance in the locker room, and he wound up with a horse’s head in his bed.

Every family has its ups and downs.

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