Donald Trump Defines Locker Room Talk

 DATELINE: Talk, Talk, Talk


What exactly is “locker room talk”?

We have been curious for years, as we constantly hear gossip about professional athletes. Their talk is likely more elevated than average locker room banter.

We suspect that pro athletes paid millions of dollars likely talk about their stockbrokers and killlings in the market. We are not sure whether this entails Bears or Bulls.

They could also discuss the billionaires who own them and their teams. These men (i.e., Mark Cuban) are like Donald Trump. They always seem to have more money than the players; no matter how much stars are compensated, they are hard-pressed to find a billion dollars in tax loss.

We know that Kevin Durant has said, outside the locker room, that Cuban is “a idiot.” Let’s mark that one sic, please. We know better. Players seldom call owners “geniuses.”

Some locker room talk centers on whether to stand, lock arms, or take a knee during the National Anthem. That may be tied into new discussions on the attractiveness of Ruth Bader Ginsburg who lately had disparaging words to speak of athletes in the Supreme Court locker room.

As far as talk about rape and women, we suspect that is limited to legal limits, such as the case of Derrick Rose and his friends who are presently in court, sued by a former girlfriend, for an unauthorized group sex.  Rack’em up.

Tom Brady’s locker room is different than most. He points downwind to the” low-rent” district in the Patriots locker room. Up in his neck of the woods, they discuss the merits of avocado ice cream.

Our survey of locker rooms has not quite vindicated Mr. Donald Trump for his snatch and grab approach to conversing. Half-naked and wholly naked men we think are more likely to contemplate their navels. We have rarely found a hands-on locker room.