Boston Celtics New Season of Also-Rans

DATELINE: Nothing Doing

doomsday twilight zone

You could say the Boston Celtics chose the wrong day, wrong place, and wrong year to open their pre-season. They were in Amherst, Massachusetts, but it was a home game for the Philadelphia team.

It was the night when the two vice presidential candidates debated—and still the Celtics could not draw more than 4000 fans in the big Mass. College town.

The vanilla ice cream personalities of the player candidates seemed to mock their career bending decisions to defend their deplorable running mates. Talk about a basket full of bad omens. We think we are talking basketball, right?

Hurricane Matthew just blew through devastated Haiti with 140mph winds and 40 inches of rain, on the way to canceling political events in Florida and the east coast of the United States. Only issues of transgender bathrooms can cancel basketball games.

The Celtics were overshadowed by the Red Sox preparing to go into the post-season, and the Patriots preparing to start the GOAT QB after four weeks in Elba.

It was a night when Tom Brady posted a photo of himself in a t-shirt urging David Ortiz to reverse his retirement decision. Tom seemed not to notice you can’t put toothpaste back into the squeezed tube, or pump air into a career season clearly over.

It was the place where the Celtics imitated a 1960s team that shocked the nation by locking arms during the National Anthem. They did it again, this time to show America was together in black and white.

They obviously didn’t see the vice presidential candidates rent the nation in a way even Solomon couldn’t put back together. The nation’s proverbial baby has gone out with the bathwater. Humpty Dumpty, help us.

The Celtics lost the game, and the media insisted it was a new start with great players. The witnesses to corroborate this ran from few to none, being preoccupied with life elsewhere.

Basketball players looked like odd men out on this night.

 

 

 

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