DATELINE: Post Suspended Animation
We can’t see him. He’s like a tree in the forest.
Tom Brady returned to Foxboro as the Invisible Man. He may only look like Claude Rains when he is wrapped up like a mummy.
No one can see him. Another nefarious plot by Swami Belichick has rendered Tom Brady with a cloaking device. Captain Kirk never saw a cloaking device like this one.
Tom is the new Area 51. We know he’s there. People have taken pictures, but he melts away. You will be forced to ask Patriot players to take us to your leader, but it is more likely the Patriots have seen little green men rather than Tom Brady.
Everyone denies seeing him lately.
When Tom showed up at Gillette after his four game exile to Elba, the media was blind to his presence. Players swore that, if he was back, they had neither seen nor heard him.
Tom Who is the new mantra.
It works too. If teamwork is all, and there is no savior coming down from heaven to save them, then you will not take note of Tom Brady. Was he absent for a month of Sundays? It does not matter.
No teammate will acknowledge that he was gone, or that he has returned. They won three games as a team, not with Tom Brady’s replacements. The next man always steps up to do the job. And, now, with all the young QBs in hospital condition, Tom Brady will step up and step in.
No big deal. Tom who? Oh, that guy from La Dolce Vita who was hounded by Paparazzi. He’s around here somewhere.