Pre-Game Jitters for Patriots?

DATELINE:  Uh-Oh Moment

Laughing Cavalier2

Boston media is rejoicing over the proposition that Rex Ryan may be coaching his last game as a Buff Bill.

The real Buff Bill, nee Belichick, has decided apparently to start Jimmy Garoppolo even if he cannot lift his arm, but we—like T-Rex—believe there is a trick up Swami Bill’s sleeve. The biggest trick on the Patriots is doubtlessly Julie E.

The controversy has not been front page, nor sports headline news, on the local TV shows. It’s been Final Regular Season Papi Weekend, with his image cut into the centerfield grass at Fenway.

We heard an amazing stat: yes, David Ortiz has about 538 home runs in his career, but his foundation for children has performed heart surgery on 561 children. It makes home runs seem rather unimportant and QB controversy rather flimsy.

Tom Brady did not show up for the final games of Ortiz because his Dolce Vita in Roma took the cake. Yes, Tom splurged on Italian cooking: well, he ate watercress sandwiches

Whether he took his playbook to Italy is doubtful. He will officially return to the Patriots on Monday—and become an official Monday morning quarterback.

It’s then he will welcome Gronk 2 to the team. Yes, Glenn Gronkowsky is being inserted into the practice squad. If this is a PR move, it will resonate only when Baby Gronk reaches the varsity team.

T-Rex seems convinced he will be victorious at Gillette against the Brady-free team that bedevils him. There are two schools of thought: one is that the Bills cannot outflank Swami Bill who has hypnotized cobras with his magic flute—and, second, the law of averages is on T-Rex’s side.

We feel it is dubious thinking to believe Rex Ryan will be doing a retirement tour of the NFL this season. He always leaves’em laughing.