Mr. & Mrs. Tom Brady Storm the World

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With the divorce of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie now pending like the retirement of David Ortiz, we in the gossip-celebrity groupie business are left with just one couple standing.

Some people cannot stand them, but Tom Brady and Giselle Bundchen are taking up where Brangelina fell off the celeb wagon. They are the last of the Taylor-Burton type marriages: dual careers and double the media punch.

Tom and Giselle are not the Battling Bogarts, like Bogie and Bacall, but their occasional dissatisfactions (over Deflated scandals) have come to light. It’s hard to find anything to debate when your marriage motto is the Latin expression, “Non tanget caput.”  For the hoi polloi, that means: “Never Touch the Capital.”

Yet, now that Tom is in the final week of his suspension for Deflategate and phone smashing of evidence, they are acting just like superstars on a bender.

Word has reached us that B&B (Brady and Bundchen) have jetted off to the Blue Grotto in Capri for dinner and drinks, Italian style. We have visions of Anita Ekberg and Marcello Mastroianni wading into a Roman fountain in La Dolce Vita.

Considering that Tom won’t eat anything remotely tasty, we can figure they are not looking for a restaurant with great canolis.

With half a billion in assets, you can go anywhere at any time. Cue the private jet.

Brady would be crazy to stay home and watch football while eating pizza, like his Neanderthalesque adoring fans.

No, it’s all in the ambiance and their F-U money. When you have it, you flaunt it. Perhaps they plan to drop in for a social call on their Parisienne plastic surgeon.

All we can say in our best Fellini accent is, “Buona Sera, Mr. & Mrs. Brady.” We give them an 8 and a Half.