Belichick is Football’s Napoleon

DATELINE:  Dropping a Dime on Bill


Bill Belichick has been compared to Napoleon, but his real diabolical nature when it comes to football scandals truly makes him the “Napoleon of Crime.”

His detractors would say he lives on the edge of honesty, likely to be seduced by the twisting of rules. Like the first Napoleon of Crime, he never sullies his own hands in accomplishing his goals.

Of course, the first Napoleon of Crime was Sherlock Holmes’s truly despicable opponent, Professor Moriarty. Any resemblance between Bill Belichick and an academic is more acutely like Professor Kingsfield, of Paper Chase lore. Kingsfield notably told off students. “Here is a dime. Call your mother and tell her you will never be a real sports journalist.”

There is not a strategy, tactic, or moral beyond Belichick Napoleon when it comes to manipulating his players. They are mere clay to be molded to his laser beam focus. And this week, the nemesis of the Napoleon of Crime will be the amateur sleuthing brothers of prepubescent lore—the Ryan Brothers, or as their match in literary terms—the Hardy Boys.

It hardly seems fair to pit the disingenuous Hardy Boys against the nefarious Napoleon of Crime, but it does seem apt. Rex and Rob Ryan have a refreshing innocence when it comes to facing up to intimidation from Swami Belichick.

Some astute observers might say those Ryan Brothers are little David going up against Goliath.

If Belichick used his talents to do crime, he probably would abscond with the Mona Lisa out of the Louvre museum unimpeded. As it is, he will likely score 30 points unimpeded against the Ryan Boys.

Even without a QB, Belichick’s team will be formidable. After all, he is showing the world that he does not need Tom Brady to flatten the landscape in the AFC East.