Brissett Makes Belichick Smile

DATELINE: Jacoby B’s Line


The yellow-streaked rose of the Texans is shining in New England. The Houston Texans looked as bad as Governor Rick Perry on Dancing with the Stars in their Foxboro appearance.

It’s threaten the Patriots QB time. This week Texan J.J. Watt is promising to bury Jacoby Brissett. However, we couldn’t find Watt on the field, but we surely saw much of Jacoby B. He played with the pizzazz usually reserved for Jimmy G.

Gronk played in a game for the first time this season, but he looked like the gray ghost in blue.

The Patriots seemed alive with new names:  Hogan and Logan amused us, but not nearly as much as seeing former old Patriots all over the Houston team: Wilfork, Izzo, Vrable, Romeo, O’Brien, and on and on. It was deju woo woo.

NFL players know the league will let them dance on the graves of the Patriots with impunity. Thank you, Goddell. The referees seemed intent on giving the game to Houston on every close call—and Belichick seemed unmotivated to fight it (he won one challenge), but will accept the ugly fate of the NFL—only to still beat the enemy.

All of this was done with the bad luck blue-on-blue uniforms that we heard Bill Belichick loathes. Every time they wear these, the Pats lose. However, disgust over not having Tom on the team likely negated this superstition.

We were delighted when Chum maker Nate Ebner, rugby Olympian, caused a fumble. Among the Texan problems were several fumbles, an interception, pass interference in the end zone, and odd coaching.

If ever Tom Brady wanted to stick it to the NFL front office, he saw the third game without his star going supernova.