Dark Day for Patriots: Jimmy G Whiz Kid Sidelined

DATELINE: Down but Not Outjimmy-g

By half-time, Patriots fans were needing the smelling salts used by Jimmy Garoppollo before the game.

When the QB was sent into the ground by the Miami Thug Squad, a kind of a hush befell the crowd at Gillette. Jimmy G left the game after looking like Tom Brady on steroids for nearly a half of play.

After making mincemeat pie of the Dolphins, Garoppollo was sent to the nearest X-ray machine. We had a vision of Jimmy G walking into the cornfield and disappearing forever, hand in glove with author W.P. Kinsella who left this astral plane during the weekend.

All this catastrophe just happened on the Sunday afternoon that David Ortiz put on his Tom Brady jersey to be honored on his forthcoming retirement. He is about the same age as Tom Brady, which may indicate that Ortiz should have played football. His career would still be ahead of him

Tom couldn’t be there to welcome Big Papi. In fact, Tom cannot be within 50 yards of Gillette. However, he did send his dinner companion, Wes Welkah who took a seat in the stands to watch his former team. Apparently he declined the seat next to Robert Kraft in the owner’s box where most celebs and former players eat their popcorn while watching the game.

We can’t honestly say that Jimmy G will be rested for the next game: it’s in four days on Thursday. Thank you, again, Roger Goodell, for trying to put an ignominous end to the Patriots before they can play Tom Brady again.

On the good side, the last rookie named Jacoby did rather well in Boston.