New England Patriot Space Cadets Blast Off!

DATELINE: Major Tom Gone for 4 Weeks in Space?

 

Pardon us if we start to sniff smelling salts. After watching Jimmy G, temporary star QB of the Patriots, achieve a nirvana of passing after smelling the salts, we feel justified in our 19th century damsel routine.

If Jimmy G is another Boston spaceshot, needing stimulants to achieve his pinnacle, we can only laud him for not falling down in a faint during the National Anthem.

Among the curios of the Patriots this season, we have found replacements to be better than a bad Keanu Reeves football movie.

Jimmy G has, of course, supplanted Tommy B in the hearts of those looking for lanterns in the belfry around Boston.

And, now, to prove spaceshots in Boston did not end with Spaceman Bill Lee, now running for governor of Vermont on the libertarian ticket—and soon to be equaled by Curt Schilling who will be running for senator from Massachusetts against Pocahontas Warren, we have discovered Martellus Bennett.

Yes, Gronk’s mirror image, the tight end to block till your heart bleeds, is a spaceshot on NASA’s guest list.

After wearing a NASA baseball cap during post-game interviews and expressing his interest in science and astronomy, NASA nerds sent him a twittering textual invitation. He readily has accepted, being in the mind to write a sci-fi novel.

Well, that trumps Gronk who barely can spell soufflé and seems to be one of the experiments of Ancient Aliens. At least Gronk didn’t go on Dancing with the Stars like Ryan Lochte circling Uranus. Talk about starry star power.

 

 

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