Dancing with Sharks for Ryan Lochte

 DATELINE: Tutu Much!



Lochte’s dancing routine did not go swimmingly on TV last night.

Ryan Lochte tried to dance a foxtrot on Dancing with the Stars, but he found himself hounded by his irresponsible past.

DWTS is usually a pabulum moment when irresponsible stars can dance their way out of controversy and into the hearts of America.

Political lightning rod and Texas governor Rick Perry managed to avoid protesters for his two-step, but Ryan Lochte was not so lucky.

Perhaps it was the choice of dance music. He used “Call Me Irresponsible” for his premiere appearance, which poked tutu much into the eye of America.

The protesters rushed the stage, but were armed only with the danger of our times:  frightful terror. We recently saw a live TV show depicted in movies, Money Monster, where a gunman took over the live broadcast.

Tonight the two arrested men had no guns. Was this a publicity stunt to make the show more lively? Will this increase the ratings?

Will Ryan Lochte want to return?

The swimmer was trussed out in his best John Travolta Saturday Night Fever leisure suit, but his time tripping the light fantastic turned ugly. Reports are he was shaken, not stirred by the incident.

Lochte did not give a press conference where he stated a gun was held to head and he was robbed. Yet, we have the feeling a gun of metaphor was at his head—and he was robbed of his attempt to live a life of innocent entertainment.