Rock, Paper, Scissors, and Tom Brady

 DATELINE: A SILLY GAME BEATS A SILLY GAME

lumpy

In case you hadn’t heard, Tom Brady was kept out of last Thursday’s exhibition game because he he had a “silly accident” with a pair of scissors, to use his own words.
It’s hard to believe that two hours before the game Tom Brady was playing “Scissors, Rock, and Paper,” with teammates. However, it now appears Brady was paper thin with his tale.

Certainly in the commissioner’s office they’ve thought Brady a paper tiger for quite some time. The rock of the team has to be Gronk without a doubt. And as for the scissors, we can find no sharp edges on anyone on this team except perhaps Julian Edelman.

We didn’t see Tom kept out of the game because he had a few paper cuts. And they certainly didn’t keep Gronk out of the game because he had rocks in his head. However, you may have noticed that all three did not play.
Far be it it for us to suggest a conspiracy theory.

Our logic has been grounded like the rocks to the soil or like the paper to the paper mill, or even like scissors from the roster cuts.

If Tom Brady was kept out of the game because of a frivolous game, then the biggest rock to hit those scissors would be Belichick.

 

It is our firm belief that a silly game hit the scissors that hit the thumb of Tom Brady. Yes, you got it. We have now discovered Tom’s thumb is the Patriots’ Achilles’ heel.

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