American Swimmers Kidnapped by Space Aliens

DATELINE: Strip Searched by Aliens

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Brazilian authorities now report that four American Olympic swimmers have missing time among their possessions taken by strange beings dressed as police officers in Rio.

Ryan Lochte managed to catch a flight aboard a spaceship and has already landed in the United States. His fellow swimmers have gone downstream, and up the river.

Police and courts have now robbed several American swimmers of their passports and they are unable to return to Roswell, the scene of the crime.

Jack Conger and Gunnar Bentz were pulled off a flight out of Rio for discrepancies in the report filed with MUFON, an active part of the Rio police. Most Brazilians admit that Brazil is the place where the nuts are.

One of the relatives of the victims, Charley’s Aunt, was once caught in drag without a passport.

The swimmers were in bathing suits at a strange party outside the Olympic Village when they were embarrassed to be found in their birthday suits. They said everything was taken except for their cell phones. They had no pockets and held onto those.

Ryan Lochte instantly disappeared out of Rio as did his teammate Michael Phelps who did not attend the same party, but instead did not become roaring drunk and attend the alternative lifestyle extravaganza.

Rio is known for its nightlife and has outdone the phrase “what happens in Rio stays in Rio.”

Rio Rita and Chiquita Banana were not with the men when they returned from their ordeal at the crack of dawn. Back in the United States, out of harm’s way, Ryan Lochte said UFO reports are subject to “mischaracterization” when alcohol is involved.

Space aliens have been reportedly visiting Brazil looking for gold at the Olympics.

 

 

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