Bubble, Bubble, Toil and Bobble, Heads Roll!

DATELINE: BAN THE BOBBLE!

Ortiz Papi Head

If you take one look at the Red Sox version of the David Ortiz bobblehead, you might be reminded of the days when the local neighborhood had a black jockey statue for the horses to be tethered to.

Big Papi deserves to be lauded, not lampooned. Spare us from the bubbleheaded idiocy that seems to epitomize sports today.

The notion that Big Papi will be honored with a bobblehead is as outrageous as depicting him as Aunt Jemima flipping pancakes. The actual bobblehead looks like something out of Al Jolson singing, “Mammy!”

The only thing missing from the Ortiz Bobblehead was having the unfortunate icon holding a watermelon. So, out of a preponderance of being horrified, the Red Sox canceled the distribution of the Papi bobble at the Yankee game.

The Red Sox nearly bobbled the season long testimonial to their retiring hero.

The biggest bubblehead of the bobblehead situation is the notion these things are meant to be flattering. If the process of bobbleheads is understood, they are satiric icons.

No one should be flattered to see his likeness bobbling like some out of control hip hop flopper.

These silly items were never meant to be kindly totems or to be used as standard-bearers for a career.

The idea of a bobbling head hints cruelly at a certain kind of mental deficiency. Better not to have a bobble head at all, than to bobble the Red Sox lionizing of its iconic Papi. The bobblehead was a bomb waiting for detonation.

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