Chris Sale Takes Pants (and Shirt) Half Off the Rack

DATELINE: Kindest Cut of All


Chisox baseball player Chris Sale has become a folkhero to fashionistas.

Having slashed the uniforms of his team to prevent showing up at the party in ugly pajamas, he has been suspended five games—and faces a likely trade to a winning team.

In a scene reminiscent of Psycho, the starting pitcher slashed prices of clothes by cutting off an arm and a leg. By sabotaging the throwback uniforms, untucked and knee high britches, Sale has sailed into the realm of baseball legend.

We’ve heard of players being cut, but this is the first time a player has cut his team’s shirt. This is no tale out of whole cloth, but it may be a tale of holes in the cloth.

If you don’t like the uniform, a new form of protest is available. You may not be able to bring a gun into the stadium, but no one is stopping you from carrying a butcher’s knife into the locker room.

Tom Brady has been suspended for 25% of the season for knowing about air deflation of balls. He never sliced and diced the team logo.

The price of chopping up pajamas is to be suspended for. Let’s do the quick math. It is more like a suspension for 3% of the season.

We may have noticed that baseball has low overhead. And, Boston is a buyer’s market. Sale may be a cheap commodity to trade for in a bullish market. Red Sox uniforms may be made of sterner stuff.

Chris Sale may be sailing on the open sea before trade deadlines and the SEC gets wind of his tactics.