Brady Needs More SCOTUS than Scrotum

DATELINE:  Deflategate is Almost Round the Bend

ultimate bag job

It’s the bottom of the ninth. The Patriots are down by a big one, and there is only one strike left on Tom Brady. Will he swing and miss? Or as he has done all his career, will Tom hit the home run to win the season?

Tom has plenty of money in the bank, but unfortunately he has nothing in the 2nd Circuit Court en banc.

The Jet loving jurists decided to issue a one sentence denial to Tom Brady and his union. They love Goodell all the more than those pesky New England Patriots and Tom Terrific. Play he must not for four games, at this point.

Tom has said, “Give Me Liberty, or Give Me Death,” or was that Tom Paine?  Tom has said, “I regret I have only one life to give to my team,” or was that Nathan Hale?

Tom’s pain may be Donald Trump who insists that Ruth Bader Ginsburg should retire. Right now she is what stands between Tom Brady and another Super Bowl.

Someone ought to alert Donald to the fact that Ruth of the SCOTUS may be able to stay the NFL’s suspension—and breathe new life into Brady. He only needs to be pumped up with some refreshing air pressure. No one doubts Tom has a scrotum of major proportions, but he may be sacked anyhow.

Tom may have used up one of his cat lives last week when he went down to the Hamptons to try to retrieve Kevin Durant for the Celtics. That nearly went as badly as having an entire court of appeals say no.