Roger Goodell Rejects Rule of Law

DATELINE: NFL Fantasy World

Depp Roger Goodell?

A whiz-bang pointed out that 500 days have passed since Deflategate was born. Its gestation period likely extends to the start of Tom Brady’s career, if Roger Goodell is believed.

This week Goodell said no one outside football should ever make any decisions when it came to the integrity of the game. Therefore, he told the en banc Circuit Court to go stuff it. He was the only judge, jury, and executioner he recognized in his fantasy football league.

We doubt the wisdom of this statement when the case is under review.

The Commissioner also said several attempts to settle the case were attempted previously—but that phase was over.

He did not specifically mention the proposal to have Tom Brady parade around the Meadlowleands naked in front of Jets fans. As might be expected, the NFLPA rejected this idea as well as Goodell’s suggestion that Brady’s ball were overinflated.

The Commissioner requested that Brady forego his left testicle to satisfy the NFL. “Why should Tom Brady be different from the Commissioner?” he reported said.

This 4-game suspension pregnancy has lasted longer than a hippo in heat. And, instead of a stillbirth, we have been subjected to the longest wait for a baptism since John the Baptist lost his head.

The Deflategate controvery lives on.