Harambe Was Not a Man in a Gorilla Suit

DATELINE:  King Kong Shot

Brady in Manhattan

During a weekend that featured Justin Bieber taking a selfie in his undies, while groping himself, and Julian Edelman attending a concert in Boston, yelling out “Free Tom Brady,” we had a retelling of King Kong.

For those unfamiliar with the scenario, we offer a crash course: a giant ape, out of his element, takes an innocent girl to the top of the Empire State Building on a date. He is then shot into bye-bye land by bi-planes.

This weekend in the wilds of Cincinnati, a giant ape was minding his own business in captivity. He had just celebrated his birthday, and he seemed mildly content.

Then, into his world fell a four-year old boy. How this interloper managed to break the barriers to keep him away from untamed apes is anyone’s guess. His mother apparently is like Teflon, no responsibility sticks to her.

The ape was subjected to the wild screams and gyrations of those around his moat, looking down on him. He seemed to hold the child with as much gentility as a large simian hand might form. He seemed to some bystanders to be protective of the child.

He did not act aggressively in any obvious way, though experts insisted later that was merely a ruse. He took the child to a corner, away from the noise and shielded him with his body.

The zookeepers deemed this too dangerous and shot him dead.

As in King Kong’s cautionary tale, the hairy ape cannot win. High-powered weapons are a quick draw. Harambe had no luck on this day.

Twenty years ago a child fell into a gorilla pen and was carried by an ape to the door and given to the handlers. It was considered miraculous. There were no miracles this time.

Harambe is dead, like King Kong, a victim of tragedy.