DATELINE: HAPPY RETURNS!
We love birthday cake!
It’s especially delicious after a couple of cleats have chopped up the delight into bite-size pieces.
Tom Brady wished his teammate and “my spirit animal” a happy 27th birthday on Facebook. Unlike some animals in the NFL, the Patriots spirit animal is a Flying Elvis—not some creature from the Black Lagoon or a Panther or Bronco.
There is no doubt whatsoever that Gronk has changed his aging quarterback with a dose of evergreen sprouts in his diet, or was that anatomic white gold? Tom is turning the clock back to the thrilling days of yesteryear—when he too was 27.
Posting a picture of the action heroes on his website, TB12 is popping into the arms of the free spirit. His popover is a birthday cake, and unlike a stripper—he provides a fully uniformed QB at the top of his game. Alas, the cake is missing four tiers.
We are now watching the finely tuned machine that will come to a crashing halt for four games if the NFL has its way. Roger Goodell is the fly in the ointment, and he is the unknown ingredient in the birthday cake.
Eat it at your own risk.
You can blow out all the candles you want to wish Goodell would go away, but the lack of air in your lungs may be as deflated as the footballs the NFL is using to punish Tom Brady.
Gronk’s birthday cake is being made by the bakery of Roger Goodell where the ovens are either too cold or too hot—and every celebratory cake has a missing ingredient. Your official tasters are corrupt referees.