Kulpa, Fans, and Ortiz

DATELINE:  Yankee Doodle Bug

The new kids’ comedy show draws on the old TV puppets, Kukla, Fran, and Ollie.

Yep, Kulpa is the nasty umpire, and his nemesis is David Ortiz, the magical dragon like superstar on the way out.

Something went terribly wrong on the joyous Big Papi retirement tour. Sergeant Pepperspray turned out to be a third-rate umpire who called strikes where he saw them. Unfortunately, it was the ninth inning of a Yankee game with the bases loaded.

Suffice it to say, the heroic moment of David Ortiz turned into MLB’s worst nightmare.

Last time an umpire screwed up this badly, he was cast into the Midwest where he did not officiate a Red Sox game for the rest of the season.

Ron Kulpa is worthy of working in Gotham again—if the Yankees play the Joker, the Riddler, and the Penguin. He fits right in with all the cartoon versions of a bad umpire.

We suspect he would be an excellent choice if Hollywood moguls want to re-film Casey at the Bat with a genuine ogre in the role of strike-caller.

We have seen bad umpires in our day, but Kulpa is the rain on your parade. He is the ant at your picnic. He is the thorn in your side.

We sympathize with David Ortiz’s fantasy world tour to end his storybook fictional career.