Conspiracies Unite with Ted Cruz!

DATELINE:  From Presidential Assassin to Presidential Candidate?


Just when was Lyin’ Ted Cruz going to tell the American people that his father used to hang out with Lee Harvey Oswald?

Ted Cruz is now officially radioactive.

Oh, there is photographic evidence of their liaison. It has been clogging up archives for decades. There is Rafael Cruz, looking like a Bobsey Twin of Oswald, as they handed out pamphlets in New Orleans. Cruz insists it was Miguel Cruz, no relation to his father.

Yup, Lyin’ Ted’s dad was one of the few members of Oswald’s little coterie, The Fair Play for Cuba Committee! Can we call for an investigation please?

Not long after JFK was assassinated, Ted’s father moved to Canada where the presidential candidate was born a few years after the assassination of the President.

We hardly want to suggest that the sins of the father ought to be put upon the son. However, we would like to know when Ted Cruz first knew his father was a pal of Oswald.

We might also ask how many of the Cruz supporters knew and decided not to reveal this rather curious historical detail.

Trump’s revelations have sent Ted Cruz into Bonkers State, whose delegates all wear strait-jackets.

According to Cruz associates and co-conspirators, Trump will announce tomorrow that space aliens have crossed the border from Mexico and have infiltrated Area 51.