Cruz Throws Up a Brick at the Basketball Ring

DATELINE: Ted Hears a Hoo-sier


Ted Cruz scored a ringer today. He thought he just scored a Pacer moment in Indianapolis.

Unfortunately, he was talking about basketball, not horseshoes.

In a valiant attempt to pander to voters in Indiana, Ted Cruz commented about a “basketball ring.”  At first we thought he was referring to some kind of championship trophy worn on the finger.

Our second guess was that a “basketball ring” is a metaphor using colorful language to suggest a parallel between the sport and politics.

However, it was far more egregious than that. Ted Cruz thought he was talking hoops. It was like talking Esperanto to a Cajun and not knowing there was a difference.

According to some, Canadian Cruz never saw a basketball game in his life—and the netted hoop at the end of the gymnasium looked like a ringer to him.

We know that some people in Canada play basketball because one of our favorite flakes, Kelly Olynyk, is a dead ringer for a basketball player. We think he is a remarkable hoopster too.

Don’t lean on us too hard if we can’t think of other basketball players from Canada. We suspect Ted Cruz can’t even name one.

He may know his horseshoe moves, however, being from Texas where the cheerleaders all throw leaners when in Dallas.

A few wags are now saying that in an effort to outdo Trump (with an endorsement from Bobby Knight), Cruz decided to play HORSE with his opponent—and wound up as the horse’s rear end, no leaning involved.