Tom Brady Out of Suspended Animation & Into Frying Pan

DATELINE: A Comedy Tonight!


Deflategate has risen from the semi-comatose to walk like a zombie over Foxboro, tormenting the fans of New England.

Roger Goodell has given Deflategate mouth to mouth—and resuscitated the monster to rip the heart out of Tom Brady.

We have seen this in 1950s horror movies at the drive-in when the evil scientist never learns and comes back in sequel after sequel to terrify the populace.

Tom’s recourse may be the Supreme Court of the United States, which is a horror story in and of itself. If they deadlock on the issue, the lower court ruling stands.

Some haters of Brady are suggesting that he should bite the bullet and take the four-game suspension, but having stood tall in protest to his innocence, it seems more likely that the appeal process will play out.

In the meantime, Brady and his hired guns will need to order up a stay-of-execution to send this cascading into next season.

The question is not to be or not to be, but are four games at the start of the season a better bet than four games at the end of the season?

The NFL now insists it was breaking a cell phone that requires a draconian penalty. In an age when privacy is all but dead, the NFL wants to keep the ball rolling.

Cell phone talk is not cheap, but hiding your social media conversations can cost millions of dollars over four games. Tom Brady is about to test the tin can and wires that Roger Goodell uses to communicate.