DATELINE: What Comes Naturally
Just when you thought baseball season had started and hockey season in Boston had ended, and basketball playoff season was underway, comes word that the New England Patriots are back.
Oh, it’s voluntary camp for those who want to be there.
If you don’t want to be in Foxboro, you probably have already bought a ticket for another team in another location.
If you don’t love the Patriots organization, you probably are already released from the Belichick juggernaut. If you really love the Patriots, you probably have a year-round contract and will be paid to have fun stretching and doing deep breathing with Gronk and Tom over the next few weeks.
This part of the year is extremely important for sports humorists who start to panic because nothing funny in happening in professional sports. Usually the best you can do is have a couple of receivers dress up as cops and make a donut run.
If you’re really lucky, your favorite players don jump suits and prance around a bucolic estate.
Other than that, you may develop an eating disorder and start belting out at Fenway Park. If you’re lucky enough to have a Mohawk hair-do, you could dye it green in honor of the Celtics being eliminated again in the first round.
Instead, we will do our Boston Marathon obligated random act of kindness and not insult any athletes by name today.