Leaving Ferrari Sandoval in the Garage for Now

DATELINE:  Hunger Strikes Out


Pablo Sandoval’s agent is also his mouthpiece. A day after the Red Sox announced he had the most expensive seat in Fenway Park reserved all to himself in a corner of the dugout, his agent spoke his piece.

He said you don’t leave the Ferrari in the garage.

Well, that depends. When there’s carbon on the valves, you cannot drive it anywhere lest you become stranded in the cellar of the American League East.

Ferrari cars may be fast, but not when you overload them with a ton of furniture off the back porch. Most Ferraris have a small trunk, not expecting to carry heavy weight across the diamond.

You also leave the Ferrari at home when it’s leaking oil, has a dead battery, and is no longer under warranty.

In Boston during spring, you don’t drive the Ferrari because a surprise thundersnow storm could postpone opening day. It wouldn’t do to have your convertible buried in a snow drift.

You might take your Ferrari out of the garage if you are showcasing it to a potential buyer. So, the next team Pablo plays against may be his new home.

You might leave the Ferrari in the garage when you still have $70 million in monthly payments still left on the lease. And you are at the mileage limit.

The Ferrari is not much good when you are doing errands like picking up the shirts at the cleaners or going to the fast food restaurant to bulk up on Big Macs, cheeseburgers, and French Fries.