Goodell Going Down With Ship

DATELINE: Goofy Goodell Really Mickey Mouse

Roger Goodell answered the Kraft family request that he return the draft picks he pickpocketed from them. It was a resounding and mysterious NO!

This is Deflategate the Zombie walking the earth again.

With the appeal of Tom Brady’s suspension under advisement with a three judge appeal panel, the timing may not be quite right—but Robert Kraft is a man who never catches the bus on time.

Citing science again, Kraft sent a letter to Goofy Goodell and pointed out the error of his way. “No soap,” the Commissioner stated to the press, but never formally answered the letter or gave any coherent explanation.

There cannot be a logical response because the entire belligerence of Goofy Goodell stands in the doorway of rational behavior. Why did the moron throw the clock out the window? Because Goodell uses a sun dial.

Goodell’s refusal to face the reality of science and real life makes him a perfect candidate for commissioner of a fantasy sport like football. In this world, players are superheroes who cannot die from repeated concussions—and are cartoon-like in their sexual prowess and moral lassitude.

No doubt, Goofy Goodell sees his life as Batman versus Superman. Unfortunately for him, he is Lex Luthor.

By the time he orders women and children into the lifeboats, the entire NFL will be going down without hope. And, he will order his henchmen to shoot any male who tries to escape his tyrannical world.

History is a repeatable offense.