Tom Brady’s Deal with the Devil

DATELINE: Move Over, Faustus!

As the Bible tells us so, there is a time for sowing and a time for reaping. It omits there is a time for contract extension. For some fans, it is more like a deal with the Devil, signed in blood.

Perhaps Bob Dylan can add a passage to Pete Seeger’s famous lyrics, “Turn, Turn, Turn.”

Tom Brady has added two years to his current contract with the New England Patriots. “Turn, turn, turn” around as fair play, indeed. Some news agencies are reporting that Tom’s new agent is named Mephistopheles.

Since Brady takes less money from the Patriots than he might demand, he has allowed the team to go out and sign young players who can barely keep up with the Dorian Gray painting that is located in Tom’s attic.

For those with no literary sense, we can only alert you that the picture in Brady’s attic is starting to look frayed around the edges.

According to the misinformed, Tom Brady will be a Patriot until he is 42, at least. That is in 2019.  Of course, this does not take into account that Brady’s clock is running backwards.

With his regular imbibing from the Fountain of Youth, in four years we suspect that Brady will be 34 years old. At the present rate of reversing his stem cells, Brady will retire at age 16.

We presume this could mean an additional two or three Super Bowl victories.

If the rate of teammate exchange continues, Julian Edelman and Rob Gronkowski will retire before Brady.

No one has yet tied Brady to stem cells, human growth hormone, or cod liver oil, as the secret of his youthful appearance. Peyton Manning only wishes he knew what was going on with his long-time rival.

Advertisements