Super Bowl to Miss

 DATELINE:  This Year’s Miss Super Bowl?

Unless there is something news worthy, we will not be looking with our usual fish-eye at the Super Bowl.

If we have any insights at all, it’s that the bowl is either filled with punch, or needs to be flushed.

And if the comments of Roger Goodell at his press conference this week indicate anything of note, it is that you better flush this Bowl twice. It’s a long way for crap to travel.

Fairy tale endings require a fix. You can’t have an aging, injured quarterback suddenly come to life—unless it’s a Disney movie.

You can’t have the NFL burying the HGH under the 50 Logo at half-time, but men with shovels are not excavators for Al Jazeera.

We won’t even be tempted to peek at this Super Bowl. We heard Lady Gaga is performing the National Anthem as a testament to British rock star David Bowie. Hmmm. Don’t start the Revolution without a redcoat or a maroon coat.

Apparently there are plenty of people still interested in NFL shenanigans after a long season of suffering obtuse moroons gladly. We do expect the lowest ratings in quite some time. The commercials may be the real entertainment.

We understand the NFL is giving MLB a thumbing of the nose by letting Pete Rose do a commercial for fantasy bettors. Don’t let the moneybags hit you on the way out the door.

Tom Brady plans to show up at an event for all the living and breathing MVPs of the game. Those not present have headaches from their concussions and a letter from their doctor to excuse the absence.