DATELINE: Great Attacks of History
Kansas City Maulers Ready for Patriots
To hear the Patriots talk about the Kansas City Chiefs, you’d think someone had unleashed the Pharoah’s army on a peaceful group of itinerant tourists trying to cross the Charles River.
The Kansas team is being touted as the attack of the Huns led by their chubby Atilla. The media is dropping bombs like it’s the London Blitz. They look like a cast assembled by Sylvester Stallone.
Andy Reid is leading his troops into Gillette Stadium the same way Sulla led his troops into Rome—to the utter infamy of his name.
We expect the carnage will resemble the time when the Vikings raided the nunneries in Northumberland. Are our innocent boys (Chandler, Jules, Malcolm) not safe from these visigoths from the heartland of America?
Bill Belichick speaks softly in the way Brutus talked when he learned Marc Antony was leading the revenge tour out for his head. Belichick is an honorable man, if Andy Reid has anything to say about it.
We almost expect Tom Brady to stand in the middle of the field and cry for an inflated football! His kingdom for an inflated football! And, the enemies of Tom are ready to pounce.
Is it possible all this hyperbole is nothing short of the Red Queen crying to cut off the Patriots’ heads?
We do not think we are about to witness a new incarnation of Tong Wars. Andy Reid is not the Boston Strangler. We do not have to bolt our doors and hide from imminent danger. These are the low-scoring Chiefs.
As we recall, when Dirty Harry pointed his gun at that punk to ask a pointed question, “Did he feel lucky today?”
Dirty Bill has fired off a number of rounds, but he may have a couple of shots left. Do the Chiefs feel lucky? Well, do they?