Life, Death, & Patriots on Miami Beach

DATELINE:  Tropic of Capricorn


All God’s chill’un will be going down with Moses on Sunday in hot spell Miami.

Good Grief, the Patriots left Julian Edelman home. There was not enough reason to pay the freight on his ticket on a charter flight. For good measure Julian’s “Burger Tyme” costar, Chandler, aka Bones, Jones is also not about to risk life and limb in Miami.

Death in Miami Beach used to be a 1950s joke, then it was a South Beach dead man’s joke with Andrew Cunanan. But, the place was the ultimate laugher when LeBron James moved there.

This winter season the Dolphins are in a can like tuna for your cat.

Don’t count on the fact that one spoonful of Dolphin tuna can make you wretchedly sick, enough to lose a home field under ice.

The Patriots have also pulled Don’t’a Hightower off the Do’a Hightower List. That high tower looks scalable now.

This leaves us wondering just who Belichick will pull out of the game plan on game day when you either got game or become the game for the big game hunters. You are starting to smell gamy when the gamecock is plucked.

Tom Brady already looks like General Zaroff’s quarry. And, Coach Campbell Soup is just the dish to eat Brady alive, and we aren’t crackers with this worry.

This Sunday we won’t see Leiningen versus the ants, but the naked jungle of Miami is a place where the smallest creature can be warlike. Just ask Charlton Heston (Gronk) and Eleanor Parker (Brady).