Grayscale Between Jets and Bills: Only the Color Blind Can Tell

DATELINE: no colors

Featured imagein glorious black and white

Color blind fans were blindsided by the Jets and Bills on Thursday night. It didn’t matter if you watched on a big screen, a smartphone screen, or your iPad. If you watched on grandmama’s old black and white TV, you had an idea of the problem.

Someone at the NFL decided it would be great fun to have each team coordinate their look from top to bottom in one color. The Bills took red, and the Jets took green.

The players looked strangely odd at first—and there was no becoming used to the monochromatic look.

The problem was exacerbated by the fact that the teams looked like they were playing in pajamas with footsies. We kept looking for an open trap door. This would have been more colorful than a bunch of men doing the famous “black bottom” dance.

Of course, since somewhere between 5% and 10% of men are color blind when it comes to red/green, they were looking for stripes and and logos to help them determine who was interfering with whom.

In the old days of black and white television, this would never have happened because all gray uniforms required one to have light pants and one to have dark pants. It was the same philosophy that went into the Friday Night Fights.

The witless ninnies at the NFL no longer think of such matters. They stick to surface appearances, whether it’s a deflated football, or little green men from head to toe.

Anyone having trouble telling the teams apart should have simply watched T-Rex Ryan on the sidelines. You’d know instantly what team was unhappy with the referees.