N.E. Patriots To Serve Cold Dish Take Out to Indianapolis

DATELINE: Problems in the Greasy Grass

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Colts Fan Awakens to His Team

Have experts been carried away by their own hype?

On the day of the Colts-Patriots game in October, we have heard murmurs that usually are reserved for Super Bowl Sunday in February.

Sober-sided pundits have taken to predicting a victory by the Patriots on the order of 90 to 10 or 60 to 3. Indeed, Tom Brady’s father has said he wants the Patriots to score 8 touchdowns.

There is animosity here in case you missed it. Those who have called the season of Patriots road games The Vengeance Tour are not kidding you. Blood feuds have less iron enriched hemoglobin.

Patriot haters are now ready for their come-uppance. Patriot lovers are sparing no hyperbole to rub salt into the wound. Call them cheaters if you will, but Patriot supporters will now ground you into the pulp-based rags on which you base your erroneous opinion.

We cannot fathom the Bellichick juggernaut actually trying to score 60 points. We believe they will be happy to keep the score close and to raise each score by one point more than the Colts can muster.

This is the death of a thousand cuts, not the drawing and quartering of some freedom fighter played by Mel Gibson or Andrew Luckless. How excruciating will this game be in the history of water torture or water boarding?

In a few weeks, the season will move on to Thanksgiving overindulgence and oversaturation of NFL games. By then the chill of October massacres will become the lore only of nerds that cite arcane facts to prove their point.

In the meantime, every geek that hides within a Patriot jockstrap has become the Maestro and Maven of vindication. “Death to the Colts” has become more than a metaphor.