DATELINE: Humor Deadly
Plots and Plotters
When dictators are assassinated, the dirty work emanates from their own palace guard. Rumors and rumors of coup d’etat seem to whirl around the Park Avenue headquarters of the NFL during the early start of the season.
Roger Goodell wisely chose to avoid going to the opening game with the New England Patriots in enemy country, Foxboro, a name that seems destined to live in infamy.
Word is now filtering out that the New York headquarters of the NFL may be harboring some palace intrigue. A group may be ready to mount an overthrow of the dictator named Roger Goodell.
We have only to look to history to find that, after years of bad decisions and mistreatment, those of high role in palace affairs begin to hatch their little plots.
Adolph Hitler found his aides putting a bomb under his table. It failed to kill Der Fuherer, but it set him back some.
In the more distant past, another parallel character to Goodell was called Caligula. His own hired bodyguards did him in as he walked in a “safe tunnel” to one of the weekly games.
Another Roman despot named Commodus was done in by one of his former gladiators who choked him to death during rough sex. Goodell should be so lucky.
Rasputin was lured to a party where he was shot, stabbed, poisoned, castrated, and dumped in the local river. Nothing is too good for Goodell according to NFL insiders.
We can only say to Goodell, “Beware the Ides of March,” especially in months ending in ‘r’.