Souvenir for Sale: Deflated Football

DATELINE: INFLATION DEFLATION

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Now you can buy a piece of history. Of course, any time you buy history, you have to deal with inflation that sent the Weimar Republic into the arms of Adolph Hitler.

You’ve seen it on any given Sunday: a player hands off a souvenir football to a fan sitting in the front row of the stadium. It’s as if having money to burn is a sure way to have money to burn.

In our case at hand, a happy couple was given one of the scoring footballs that LaGarrette Blount took into the end zone. Yes, it happens to be a deflated icon ball, actually handled and squeezed by Tom Brady.

There are fewer than a dozen of these balls floating around the stratosphere. Only one is documented. The rest are like Trump’s Mexicans; undocumented jumping beans.

This is no fluke. There is video proving the couple received a dubious ball—though the air trail seems to evaporate after they left the stadium. Is it real? Or is it just another ball with less air than the atmosphere of Mars?

You can get anything on auction nowadays, ranging from a stolen Super Bowl ring belonging to Brandon Spikes, one-time pal of Aaron Hernandez, to the more probable than not ball that Tom Brady never ordered deflated.

The owners hope to realize six figures. That should keep them in those season-ticket, front-row seats for the rest of their lives.

At the minimum, the opening bid will be in the $25,000 range. Tom ought to buy up the evidence and destroy it—like Richard Nixon did to those Watergate tapes.

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