Endorsed & Soon Undressed: Tom Brady’s Under Armour

DATELINE: Under the Armor

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In an age when CEOs and corporations are acutely aware of their paid endorsers, CEO Kevin Plank of Under Armour came to Boston—and offered tentative support for Tom Brady, accused cheater, for now.

Yes, Tom may be stripped of his underwear badge of honor.

If found guilty, Tom Brady may be forced to walk the plank naked, according to CEO Kevin Plank.

For now his trap-door undies are closed snugly along the Great Divide. Whether he will crack under pressure from Roger Goodell, only the summer solstice can tell.

In the heat of summer, who needs Under Armour? Who needs undies when you are married to a billionaire model?

For now Tom’s rear end is covered.

We are torn when it comes to jock straps. Though we would like to see Tom shorn of his pasty colored Under Armours, we know that he is a man of great integrity.

Plank will never make Tom walk the plank or talk the walk.

The hearing on Deflategate could possibly leave Tom with barely a fig leaf to keep him warm.

Oh, the Humanity! Tom Brady may be left without a codpiece on Cape Cod.