Nothing to Laugh At in Boston Sports

DATELINE: HUMORLESS

Dumb America

With a dearth of Boston sports humor lately, we are asked by fans: is there anything even remotely funny about the Boston sports teams?

In a word, no.

We are facing Aaron Hernandez’s murder trial in Fall River, a locale where Lizzie Borden also reached the heights of infamy. There have been precious few sit-coms about Lizzie in the past hundred years. We have had a few chuckles over Hernandez the Chucklehead.

We did like the ditty kids used to sing about Lizzie, but there has been no song for Hernandez, though we saw him do a pregame dance on videotape before killing Odin Lloyd.

Also, the Boston Marathon bomber hardly garners any laughs lately. We have found his endless requests to change venue fairly laughable. Four times now and counting.

He claims he cannot have a fair trial in the city that is Boston Strong. Then, during opening arguments, his lawyer admits he did it. So, why are we having this charade of a trial? Oh, it’s to see if he deserves the Timothy McVeigh treatment.

That too is a no-brainer.

After those sports stories, you hardly feel like guffawing over the pale shadow of Celtics or the off-season antics of Gronk in Vegas.

Apart from the hairdos of Cuban players, is there anything remotely funny about the Red Sox in Spring Training?

We have been working on our next book on the Titanic, another knee-slapper. So, forgive us if we haven’t been looking at the whimsical world lately in a funny way.

And, oh, yeah, it’s tax time. LOL.

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