Tom Brady did not take a long walk off a short pier. He made a mad leap off a cliff. He wasn’t wearing a blindfold and being held at swordpoint by deranged Jets fans.
He seemed to take a leap of faith by his own accord.
We expect actions like this from Rob Gronkowski, but not from general studies major Tom.
Taking a leap of faith, Tom lost the faithful. Bill Belichick now must ponder the contract that forbids behavior unbecoming a man ready to leap into a black hole.
Stephen Hawking might not be able to bring Tom back from a quantum leap into the forty-foot drop of Costa Rica. Any injury might cost the Patriots plenty.
Maybe Giselle, his wife, wants to be a rich widow. She encouraged his jump. Of course, she already has more money than he.
Can it be that Tom is having a middle-aged crisis? He posted himself as Air Brady, but Airhead Brady might be more appropriate.
Has Tom turned into Paulie Shore? He seemed to quiver like a bowl of jelly before the leap into the abyss. That might be the last vestige of good sense going down the forty feet with him.
After Bill Belichick threw Darrelle Revis off a cliff a few weeks ago—and forced Vince Wilfork to walk a plank into the void known as Houston, Brady may be showing he wants to be part of the bunch. Yep, he’s gone bananas.