Ossurworld NFL Awards Before the Rewards

With some much self-congratulation and selfies, we have decided to award some much deserved honor and heap accolades where heaps of rotten tomatoes might otherwise follow.

 crying jag

Most Likely to Cry After Super Bowl:  Russell Wilson.

Hot Air Award: Indianapolis Colts for complaining about the air pressure of a football as an excuse for a terrible game!

Inspired Erotica Award: Rob Gronkowski for inspiring porn.

thank you, ESPN

Fountain of Youth Award: Tom Brady for turning the clock backward and then looking younger and younger at every press conference.

Tom as Satire

Don Shula Award: Bill Belicheat.

Dumbest Guy from a Smart School: Richard Sherman of Stanford.

Smartest Guy with a General Studies Degree: Tom Brady of Michigan.

Best One Throw Quarterback: Julian Edelman.

Most Prolific TV Commercials Ad Nauseum: (tie) Peyton Manning and Aaron Rodgers.

Peyton & pizza

Most Likely to Miss Super Bowl: Aaron Hernandez.

Not Mistaken for Vince Wilfork Award: Jonas Gray.

Player Likely to Beat Rap and Wife: Ray Rice.

Most Likely NFL Commissioner After Super Bowl: Roger Goodell.

Comebacker of the Year: Robert Kraft for demanding an apology.

Facebook Humor Award: Tom Brady for finding his childhood photographs and posting them all season.


Former Tight End Award: Nate Solder.

No Man is an Island Award: Darrelle Revis.

Biggest Embarrassment to the NFL:  Ray Lewis.

Cute as a Button Award: Dont’a Hightower.

Most Likely to See Double: Devin McCourty

Most Likely to Replace Wes Welker: Danny Amendola

Most Likely to Sit Next to Tom Brady: Julian Edelman

Most Likely to Look Tom Brady at Navel Level: Josh McDaniels.

Say It Ain’t So Award: New England Patriots.

Most Likely to Sit Next to Bob Kraft Award When He Should Be Working: John Kerry.

Most Likely to Sit Next to Bob Kraft Award & Not Singing National Anthem: Jon Bon Jovi.

Best New Brady Bunch Mother: Gisele Bundchen.