Sports Media Exaggerations

DATELINE: HUMOR

Rhino:Rondo & coach

Buffoons of sports, better known as media insiders of the NFL, have embarrassed themselves with imperfect metaphors.

For example, one maroon has compared Brady’s deflated footballs to the Black Sox Scandal of 1919.

Another imbecile compared Belichick to Whitey Bulger.

We await the call of Gronk, Brady, Wilfork, and Belichick as the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

If you a sensation-seeker of the media, this kind of hyperbole may win you a pay raise if the ratings hold up. If you actually deal in humor, you may have stumbled into some of the funniest logic this side of Oscar Wilde.

If you present yourself as some kind of national objective journalist, you have been treed by the bloodhounds of fair play. Arf Arf and Bow Wow.

The Black Sox scandal was about fixing the World Series by winning by a smaller score for gamblers. It’s betting on your own games.

Whitey Bulger murdered people. Even at his spectacular worst, Bill Belichick has not performed mayhem, say on the order of Aaron Hernandez.

But, we suppose you could argue that when you run with dogs, you may wake up with fleas, Super Bowl writers.

However, we suspect the air pressure between your ears may have reached maximum nitrogen toxicity of the brain, Seahawk lovers.

We’d give a name to the nitwits whose theories of hatred for the Patriots leads them to go beyond the limits of their own comprehension, but we have taken pity on those who try to earn a paycheck by “shally”, known in the parlance of Julius Caesar as a knife in the back.

A horse’s ass by any other name is Kornheiser & Doyel.

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