A Whitewash at the NFL

DATELINE: Next Comes an Impeachable Source



As a fan of Bill Belichick and Tom Brady, we are mortified.

Watergate parallels grow more apt with each passing day.

Deflate-gate is a sports version of Watergate and an update of Spygate.

As in the Nixonian original, it was not the two-bit crime that started it which brought down a President of the United States, it was the coverup and hubris that followed.

We half expected Bill Belichick to come out at his press conference and mimic Lee Harvey Oswald by crying out, “I’m a patsy,” which would be both figurative and literal in its truth. He is a Pat Patriot Patsy.

Those who never learn from history are doomed to repeat it as Spygate morphs into Deflategate. All this is terribly ironic as there is no greater student of football history than Bill Belichick whose personal library of football books would be enough to start the Widener Library for Sports.

In a press conference that reminded us of the bitter days of the white wash at the White House, Bill Belichick did everything but say, “I am not a crook.” In his case, it would be, “I am not a cheat.”

We remain bemused by a public not fazed by the discovery that football stars were child abusers or wife beaters this season. We are disdainful of a public that is up in arms over an air pocket of rule inflation has set the Super Bowl on its ear.

What did they know and when did they know it? That was the catchpharase of the 1970s. Next, we expect to learn that there is an office taping system in Belichick’s office—but don’t hold your breath, the pivotal 18 minutes of air being let out of a dozen footballs is likely erased.

Tom Brady always dreamed of a political career at the end of football, but we never suspected that he would bring back the memories of Watergate.