Upstairs, Downstairs at Foxboro Abbey

DATELINE: Pat Patriot & British Umpire

Discontent Staff

The Patriots will face their toughest opponent on Sunday night. And, no, it is not the Indianapolis Colts. It’s not even the benighted and bewitching referees that hold the fate of bettors everywhere in their hands. It’s not the point spread, and it’s not some sports intangible.

The Patriots in the fourth quarter will go up against the formidable Downton Abbey. It will be Foxboro Abbey versus Downton on the lush green cricket field.

PBS does not blink for CBS.

Lord and Lady Grantham, also known as the Earl and Countess, have too much class to talk openly about beating up the ratings neighbors, but the Patriots are Americans. Fans will tell you Lady Grantham is American and likely will root for them secretly.

We are here to tell you that his Lordship just did battle with the family and staff about having one of those blasted “wireless” contraptions brought into Downton. Only the King’s speech could convince him to stand for it.

We have serious doubt he will let a large screen TV and a potential Super Bowl party into the main drawing room. He relegated the wireless to the “small library.”

Rose and Lady Edith are innovators and might be fans of Tom Brady (both desperate for a good leader to save them from Lady Mary who is fickle and seems to find good men as quick as she discards them).

The most likely fans of Gronk at Downton are Tom, the former chauffeur, and Thomas Barrow, the gay underbutler. As for the rest of downstairs staff, we expect they will stay loyal to the Dowager Countess who remains Bill Belichick’s biggest supporter. Not a trick gets past her.