Gronk Does It in Two Languages


Gronk in Strait Jacket


This week Rob Gronkowski showed why he is a man of many talents. We already concluded that being bi is just one of his many proclivities.

Some may have guessed how Gronk was not your usual NFL superstar. We gleaned that from some of his activities of the past few years. The notorious incident of his braggadocio, “Yo soy fiesta,” probably convinced many that he could stick a piñata with the best of them.

Yes, it’s true. Roberto Gronkowski is bilingual.

Despite his known association with Canadian monolinguist Justin Bieber, also known as Lolito for his lollipop habit, Gronk speaks Spanish with the best of them. His fluency received another test when the Patriots asked him to deliver Christmas greetings in Spanish.

With all the panache of the Cisco Kid, Roberto gave an accounting of his language skills with flair reserved for matadors and muchachas de la notte.

Roberto el Gronko probably thinks Spanish is the language of love. After all, earlier this year, his notorious quote that O-line men were sexy seemed to break all language barriers when it came to Neanderthal grunts. There is a great deal of grunting in romance languages.

We’re not the type to pin the tail on the burro, but if they want to remake a movie about the life of Zapata, Gronk could adequately fight off General Pershing and Pancho Villa with his sharp serpent’s tongue.

Feliz Navidad, indeed, Roberto el Gronko.

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