Femaleficent

DATELINE: More Movie Crapola

Jolie

We had our popcorn ready for an old-fashioned treat: Sleeping Beauty told from the p.o.v. of the evil spirit Maleficient. Not only that, we were ready for a bigger treat in the form of Angelina Jolie as the main character.

Heaven help us, but it didn’t take five minutes to discover we were about to view a post-feminist version of the crap young men watch all the time.

We had hoped young women had better taste, but not according to this movie. Maleficent (an unreliable narrator if we ever met one) wants to tell how she was wronged by men and patriarchal society.

You can’t trust those dirty dogs. Every one of them has fleas, and they want to keep good fairies down by clipping their wings and preventing them from flying like Superman.

Oh, you didn’t know that fairies were superheroes, not delicate and ephemeral?

Then, we had one of those noisy, senseless battle scenes between armies of special effects. Some kind of root fungus decimates the neighboring warlike county of castle dwellers.

All through this, Jolie is wasted. No doubt, she chose her own fate and wanted the storyline to go to its cockamamie conclusions.

You can’t put a price on political betrayal in our fairytales. Well, you could—the Obama administration did it with medical insurance. But, we were ultimately disappointed that we have reached a point in life where everything is politicized.

If you want to be for’em or agin’em, this movie is for you. Violence, shallow storylines, and characters that are one-dimensional symbols was once the purview of dumb jocks. Now more literate women viewers have been dumbed down too. For shame, Angelina.

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