Stand Up Comic Jonas Gray Stands on Sidelines

DATELINE: BENCHED

Man without a Clock

Jonas Gray has become the new Stevan Ridley.

The Patriots used to sit out Ridley after he developed a bad case of fumbling. NFL insiders were shocked, shocked, shocked, to hear that Bill Belichick simply refused to play someone who screwed up.

Well, those who don’t learn from history tend to repeat it. So, fans and media insiders are shocked again, deja vu redux, to discover that golden boy Jonas Gray has gone from fool’s gold to grey ghost in one week.

Bill Belichick beat the powerhouse Detroit Lions without the services of SI coverboy and standup comic, Jonas Gray.

So much for laughter being the best medicine. Gray looked glum on the sidelines. He more than likely saw his career going up in gray smoke.

Not since the Papal Cardinals (soon to be an NFL franchise) at their enclave failed to elect a pope have we seen so much gray smoke.

It’s a foggy night in Foxboro town for the man who scored four touchdowns in his debut and looked like the Messiah last week. He has been lugging around a giant cross in the shape of a grandfather’s clock.

Ridley couldn’t believe what happened to him, but the punishment woke him up. Let’s hope Gray finds a clear path out of the slumberland that engulfed him this week.

Oh, by the way, stay away from tweets that disparage your coach, Jonas, or you will become the Patriot Jonah. Furthermore, the Belichick Patriots won handily without any scoring by Sidelines Gray who looked like a man whose jokes fell flat in the locker room.

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