Hernandez Can Change His Undies, but Not His Venue

DATELINE:  PLAYING POCKET JURY POOL

who me?

You know matters have become desperate because the Ninja lawyers for Aaron Hernandez have blown a gasket of logic.

The Harvard educated lawyers are now accusing the lowly paid, poorly educated prosecuting team of plagiarizing their motions for the court. Writing up a legal paper has sunk to a new low.

Change of venue is not like a change of socks or underwear. Hernandez will have to keep his underpants on in Fall River.

The Ivy League Ninjas are hinting that the only way those pesky prosecutors could have passed the bar was by cheating. So, they have found that the group against Hernandez has actually stolen a page from the group of prosecutors against Marathon bomb suspect Joker Tsarnaev.

Hernandez’s Ninja gang claimed that Fall River’s district attorney and his aides copied verbatim words from the successful Tsarnaev motion to deny changing venue. Never mind that the Marathon Bomber and Aaron Hernandez each is charged with murdering the same number of people.

The Tsarnaev case recently lost a motion to move the trial out of hostile, liberal Massachusetts to a location where conservatives are obviously stupid and won’t know the facts of the case.

To no one’s surprise, Judge Susan E. Garsh isn’t about to give up her hunky Hernandez without cause. She denied the looney defensive team arguments about plagiarizing. She will not let Aaron ‘Big Boy’ Hernandez take his junk to another jurisdiction. Aaron’s jurisdiction will stay in the Judge’s pocketbook for a game of pocket pool.

The mouth-watering Hernandez hulk will keep be able to change his socks and undies in Fall River, but not his venue.

In denying the motion, Judge Harsh Garsh will keep Aaron all to herself. She has called 1000 potential jurors from the Fall River area to fill up the dead pool. Judge Garsh is gathering nuts like a hungry squirrel for a long drawn-out trial.

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