New England Patriots Not Falling like Ancient Rome




Tom Brady Thanks the Easter Bunny

After being crucified on pregame shows, Tom Brady resurrected.

The rabble had come to bury the Patriots and the evil left undone by Bill Belichick. To the utter dismay of undefeated Bengals everywhere, the worm turned.

Yes, the deader than a doornail Patriots stood up in the coffin and demanded blood from their shocked fans.

With predictions to be cremated by the Boston sports media and radio blabmasters, the Patriots made the media look like a 1929 Stock Market Crash dummy. Tonight the Pats resembled Bigfoot with his tootsie on the accelerator pedal.

Instead of calling Ghost Hunters to Foxboro to find the lost Patriot spirit, Tom’s team might be the team to play in Tombstone—the Town too Tough to Die, but they did not need a tombstone or epitaph on this night.

Fans had been looking for their best black duds and a map to the funeral pyre. After all, Tom Brady wanted to take is act elsewhere, hating to play for the dreaded emasculator, Bill Belichick.

Yes, you guessed it. The Patriots uncovered the spread and then some. Prognosticators put their Tarot cards up for sale on eBay.

It was like Mr. Peabody brought the Wayback Machine to Foxboro and out stepped the youthful Tom Brady.

The road to the Super Bowl looked like a shortcut through Foxboro—at least on this night.

You can shut out the New York Jets this week, but you can no longer think the Patriots are their twin. Rex Ryan will not have a QB with more panache than Brady this year.

The Jimmy Replacement Fan Club skulked back to the place known as oblivion. There’s be no quarterback controversy this season.

Once again Bill Belichick looked like Stephen Hawking, and the Big Bang Theory meant fans jumped back on the bandwagon faster than you can say ‘Last Hurrah’.


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